my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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