And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
