My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
