Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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