You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
