His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
