did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
