some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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