the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
