I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
what day is it and did you see me today?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
