i think my tv is drunk
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
