I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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