I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
