you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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