I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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