omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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