Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
