I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
