I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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