if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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