We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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