So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
