I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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