I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
