What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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