i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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