Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
