I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
