Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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