At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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