I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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