i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize