Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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