i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
