I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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