I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
