this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
