After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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