D3 body, D1 cock
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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