whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
