Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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