This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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