sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
