covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
