Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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