Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
