thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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