remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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