Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
