every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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